Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
