I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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