everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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