we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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