Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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