i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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