you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
