Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
