I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
