I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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