Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
