Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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