Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
