dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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