i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I've blown a few things in my day
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
