lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
