I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
