Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
