shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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