I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
