is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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