Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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