Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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