Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
