That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
