Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
