I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
