therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
