Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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