Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
