so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Randomize
