Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
