in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
