Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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