I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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