she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
