Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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