is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
