I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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