someone threw a dead crab at me
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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