Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
