Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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