gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
