I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
