Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
