we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
