Pappa wants mamma naked
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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