It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I touched a dick in church today
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
