He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
