I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
