if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
