did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
