He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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